Pure Fuckery

I title this post pure fuckery.
Because sometimes that's what happens.
I have been hit in the gut tonight with the news that a breast cancer survivor has died. Here's the fuckery....she died of a blood clot after having her much wanted 4th child 9 days ago. I cannot wrap my mind around this. I just cannot.
I have exchanged messages with her through the last 6 years. I saw her proudly beaming in pictures with her 4th child just last week.
I saw her post on facebook that she had to go back to the hospital this week because of an infection.
Then BLAM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
She's gone. A blood clot.
Not the hideous disease that she fought so hard against and advocated about.
I mourn her. I mourn her.
And then my next thought is FUCK YOU CANCER YOU ASSHOLE VILLIAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You didn't get to take her. It was her time and you had NOTHING TO DO WITH IT.
How twisted is it? How deranged am I for laughing in the face of the demon I know all too well, because this time, it did not win.
Yet still.....it's pure fuckery. Children left without their mother. A man left without his wife. Horrible horrible horrible. Confusing and cruel.
Tears running down my face all the while. I don't understand.