Sunday, July 22, 2012

Girlfriendship

At the ripe ol' age of 45, I find that there is an age old issue that starts in grade school and goes on until, I suppose, the last day of our lives. It is mostly a woman thing. Girls start it young and carry it through their lives.
It's girlfriend jealously. It's third wheel syndrome. Ladies.....ya'll all know what I'm talking about. Sucks huh?
I have no idea how it happens. I have been on all sides of this situation. I know where I prefer to be.
Sometimes a shift comes with in a group of woman overnight.
I think women need their friendships with other women. Men are built completely different than us gals, duh. I was talking to my husband about this yesterday and he commented that men never think about this shit. Lucky boys!!
Do woman not have the capacity to be close to multiple woman? Or do we care too much about if we are liked or not? Maybe both.
My first instinct when I feel this way is to completely walk away. Shut the door and my feelings won't get hurt. Go under the radar.
And that is what has led me to this blog. I don't like the feeling that I am good enough to be shown girlfriendship when it's needed. The when it's not, I am on the side of the road, not knowing when the shift came. I am still calling, extending invitations, texting, making fun plans. It takes me a while until I realize, hey, this is becoming one sided. Then I'm mad, then I'm hurt, Then I shut the door. I go and lick my wounds and forget until the next time I feel friended again.
I don't want to be needy. I don't anyone to feel like they have to emotionally babysit me. Nor do I want to be on the other side of that.
I just want to be friends. I just want to have friends.
One has to be a friend to keep a friend. I have not always done a good job of that, I will admit. But I have been working on that in my life as I mature. I will say I have really been getting better at being a friend.
Maybe right now, I should ride a unicycle.

Peace Out

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