Sunday, August 24, 2008

Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap

I have done a lot of dirty deeds in my life and now I am about to cleanse myself right here on my blog...

I clean toilets
I wash clothes
I clean the fish tank
I vacuum the car
I wash dishes
I clean cat litter
I wipe butts
I scrub bath tubs
I change sheets

There you have it. Dirty deeds done dirt cheap.

Here's a little blurb I read today-

(Reuters) -- When Tricia Himawan was a financial analyst, she worked 50 hours a week and earned about $75,000 a year. Now, she works, by her estimation, about 119 hours a week doing 11 different jobs, and, for 10 of them, she makes ... nothing.

"I work nonstop as a mother," says Himawan, of West Orange, New Jersey, as she breast-feeds her nine-month-old son Jonas and watches over 4-year-old Juliana.

If she were paid for her work as a mother, she would be earning almost $140,000 a year.

That is the conclusion of research conducted by, a firm based in Waltham, Massachusetts, that specializes in determining compensation. Himawan was one of 40,000 mothers who responded online to explaining what their job entailed and how many hours they worked.

The typical mother puts in a 92-hour work week, the company concluded, and works at least 10 jobs. In order of hours spent on them per week, these are: housekeeper, day-care center teacher, cook, computer operator, laundry machine operator, janitor, facilities manager, van driver, chief executive officer and psychologist. By figuring out the median salaries for each position, and calculating the average number of hours worked at each, the firm came up with $138,095 -- three percent higher than last year's results.

Even mothers who work full-time jobs outside the home put in $85,939 worth of work as mothers, according to

"My work is my family right now, and my backbone is about to break," says Himawan, who now also works at home as a real-estate broker."My baby is on my hip 24 hours a day."

CNN's Jonathan Mandell contributed to this report.

So how do you like them apples? I say, HOW. DO.YOU. LIKE. THEM. APPLES?

I have decided to get a job. Actually I got me a job. At Starbucks. Making coffee. Not rocket science. Just good old coffee. My job in no way will affect my children. Their lives will operate as usual. I will be home before they even leave for school. You make ask me, why in the world would you go do something like that? Do you enjoy self torture of waking in the wee hours of the day? Well, I say to you, this is all MINE. It ain't cancer's. It ain't my family's (whom I love more than air) It's all MINE. I will not be talking about chemo, or tits, or soccer classes, or bus schedules. I will smile and say hi and make a steaming beverage that makes folks happy. They will be happy with me. They will think I am the Goddess that has come to deliver them from the sandman. They will look forward to seeing me. They will think I am the shit. And I will be.
I will not tell them how I am going home after my shift to clean shit. I will not tell them that I am in menopause. I will not tell them that my sweet girls need to read for at least 30 minutes every night. I will not tell them anything except that their coffee is now ready.
I will let you know how it goes.
This of course doesn't mean my list of dirty deeds at home will disappear..

Peace Out

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Sleep Over

I am trying not to panic.
Both my girls are at my neighbor's house tonight having their first sleep over!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Well, really their second. The first was at Jason and Amy's house.
They packed their little bags and trotted over like no body's biznazz. The house is quiet. I went grocery shopping ALONE. Anthony and I feel a little lost. We miss them. Do they miss us?
I doubt it.
I am already struggling with the fact that Elliot is going to be in school all day the fall. I have poured six years into that girl. Playdates, classes, preschool, teething, nursing, pottytraining....
And now I am just suppose to let her get on a bus at 8:45 and not see her until 4:08.
I digress...
So I am waiting to see if I get a call that they want to come home. A watched phone never rings. Anthony is pacing the floor and looking over to the neighbors house. We miss them. Terribly. It's been 5 hours. We are so pathetic.

Peace Out

Sunday, August 10, 2008

Got Cancer?

This week there was a big news splash that a celebrity has breast cancer. I thought to myself hmmmmm

So does
Anna Schumacher
Kristin Haugen
Sara Thompson
Colie Taylor
Carol Franco
Coutney Fede
Everyone in Northwest Young Survivors
Everyone on the Young Survivor Coalition boards...

This list goes on and on but I don't see us being on the cover of magazines.
Why does this bother me so much? Cuz it does dammit!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Cuz it sucks. Cuz cancer has a face when a celebrity has it. We are all in the trenches here. Some folks have gone into financial, emotional, physical, mental ruin over having breast cancer. Some folks have no insurance for treatment. Some have no family support. Some women have to work everyday through chemo. Feeling like pounded shit. Enduring stares of pity. Wondering how they are to explain to their children that mommy just wants to crawl under the covers. Trying to tell their partners/mates they only want to go to a dark room and cry. Explaining to their boss why they are still a vaulable employee even though they can't keep thier head off the desk or out of the trash can.
I know that anyone who must go through any kind of cancer is scared and hurting. There needs to be a cure, not a glamorization of it.

Peace Out

Come out upon my seas,
Cursed missed opportunities
Am I a part of the cure
Or am I part of the disease

Saturday, August 09, 2008

Home Sweet Home

I am home!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
After a week in the inferno known as Texas I am home where I belong. In the Northwest. It's raining and about 60 degrees. I belong here. Every molecule in my body tells me this. I am like a homing pigeon. My gps points me here. I was meant to live in rain. It just took me a while to get here. Now don't get me wrong a am a Texan. I will spit in your eye if you call me anything else.
I was a flight attendant in a former life and I have free tickets. Free meaning flying standby. Ugh the summer is a nightmare, the flights are full and it was not easy getting home yesterday. But here we are! We had a great time. The girls got to spend time with Poppa and Sittee. We celebrated my dad's birthday.
Now I am back in my nest with my guy. He tried being single guy for the week but to be honest, I think he missed his girls.
School starts in 3 weeks. I have a first grader. Holy Hanna when did that happen? She's already got her first day of school outfit picked out. A dress with jeans. What a hipster. What a fashionista.

Peace Out

Monday, August 04, 2008

Burning Off My Nose Hairs

Holy Inferno!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I am in Texas seeing my folks and it's been freaking 105 all week. My nose hairs are singed. Hot hotter than hell. I HATE the heat. I completely hate it. My Father's birthday is in August and it always seems we are here to celebrate. August is the ass time of year hear in Dallas.
We can hardly go outside with out a heat stroke. If you get in a car after it has been in the sun your skin will melt off. I. AM. NOT. EXAGGERATING.
Country road take me home to my dreary rain and clouds. To the place I feel the most at home. I need my soggy ground squishing beneath my feet. Please please no sun for at least a week for recovery. Draw the blinds, pull up the covers.

Heat out