The loss of Hope

Losing hope is like a death of sorts. Hope can be your best friend, it can be the carrot dangling in front of you that things will get better.
Hope can leave us in an instance. Sometimes by an accident or a poor choice.
When it's gone there can be days, months, years, when you are unsure it will ever return.
Hope is missed on many levels and can be a weight that is so heavy you can barely raise your head.
With no hope, it can be lonely.
Whatever the cause or reason, self inflicted, accidental, or on purpose, just know that hope wants to be in your life. Sometimes it all just feels so.....hopeless

Peace Out

Would You

The sad thing is some days I am all four...

When Blog Worlds Collide

This weekend two of my favorite blogs I read collided. One of the bloggers traveled to the other ones home in another state to hang out for the weekend. I am so envious of this!
If you are an avid blog reader, there are times you feel as though you know someone that you have never met. It sounds a bit stalkerish now that I read that last sentence.
So I keep reading about what the are doing and wondering about how much fun the are having...

Peace Out

New Blog!

I started a new blog!
I am workin out the kinks though...

Check it out
www.grublovin.blogspot.com

Feedback greatly welcome!!!!

Peace Out

Push It

How far would/do you push yourself? To the brink of self ruin. To soaring heights never before reached?
What would you do to attain your goal?
What is your goal?
A clean house?
A marathon?
Perfect children?
Religious piety?
Weight loss?
Good health?
Whatever it is that you covet, what would you do to get it?
I had this friend that would never give up. She never ever ever gave up. Until the very end, she never gave up. She pushed herself, in her weakened state, harder than I have ever seen anyone in my life. She was a giant in heart. Today I think back about her and smile knowing that she was fucking insane, in the best way that one can be out of their mind. Lord love that girl...
So today as I am sick with a pitiful cold, I have yet to sit down. And I think to myself, when is it enough. When do you just say to hell with it all and let peace wash over you. Damn the laundry! Damn the dishes! Damn the homework! Damn it all!
Just be peace.

Every now and then, I get down to the end of a day,
Ill have to stop, ask myself, whatve I done?
It just seems so useless to have to work so hard,
And nothin ever really seem to come from it
- Tom Petty
Damn the Torpedos

When Do You Feel Like a Good Parent?

When is the time you think to yourself....I AM A GOOD PARENT?
Is it when all the laundry is done?
Is it when your kid gets good grades or uses good manners?
Parenting is so complicated. There's so many trial and errors. So many tears and smiles. Sometimes I honestly feel like an impostor trying to act like a mom. Who thought it would be a good idea for me to raise children?
Sometimes I am not a good mom, but I am a fun mom.
Sometimes I am not a nice mom, but I am a good mom.
It's a balancing act everyday.
I love my children more than air. I hope everyday with all my heart that I do right by them.

Peace Out

Secret Garden

Today it was actually sunny here. Ahhhhh could spring be here?
This year, for the first time of my life I am going to plant a garden with my girls. That is a first for me.
I have an acre of land. Cleaning that up every spring is not a first. I do it every year.
While I was outside today, I took a moment to take in everything. The smell of dirt. Hearing my wind chimes. I listened to the wind going through the trees. I even saw a bald eagle today in my back yard.
My girls were playing outside while I readied my little plot of land.
I can rake leaves like a mofo, as for an garden that produces veggies, I have no idea how that's all going to go. Wish me luck.
I will tell you this, I have my little plants started and it's supposed to be nice here the better part of this week. Spring in the North West rawks!!

Peace Out