I think about the kind of women I want my girls to grow up to be. I don't mean in the sense that they should be cheerleaders or scholars, jocks or musicians. I mean in how they treat themselves and how the expect others to treat them.
We teach children to be kind to others, but do we teach them to be kind to themselves? Do we teach them to love themselves? Did your parents tell you to love yourself? Maybe the did, maybe they didn't. Did they tell you that you are smart? Did they tell you that you could be anything and do anything you set your heart to?
My mom did not tell me these things. I saw things as a child that no child should even know about. I saw things that would make me hate myself. I was not told to go to college. I was not told I was just fine the way I was.
I feel as a mother of two girls, I really need to invest in their self worth. I know every child should have that, I am just focusing on my girls.
I take great care to NEVER say the words "I'm fat." I take care to never give the impression that life would be better if I were physically different. A major reason I will never have reconstruction on my mastectomy is the fact that I need to show my girls that there is no physical attribute that will define who I am as a woman/human. I am not against what others do. I just need to do this in my house. Which is another lesson. Don't worry about what others do or think, worry about what feels right in your own house.
We talk about eating healthy and exercising to be healthy. These two subjects are not moral issues at my house. You are not good or bad for the choices you make. We just imply healthy choices make you feel good. There's no judgment whether you eat meat or junk food. Eating fried tofu can kill your heart just like a french fry. Don't get uppity with me about this.
My friend Shannon sent me the link below. It got me thinking about all this.
If we do not teach girls they rock no matter what, believe me...someone else will, and they do not love your children.
http://www.campaignforrealbeaut
Peace Out
3 comments:
Just checking in, and inspired as usual. I am thankful for my Mother. . .hopefully someday I'll have the courage to have my own kids and teach them as you've described.
You make some very good points here. I don't have kids of my own, but as a "Big Sister" (through Big Brother Big Sister) I've tried to show my "Little" that she can do anything she puts her mind to, and that the outer appearance is not nearly as vital as her inner peace.
I think you are not only an example, but an inspiration to your daughters, and they will always know a true woman's strength, simply because they've known yours.
i think i will email my daughters & send them the link for this post!
lots of folks wondered my my BFF didn't do the reconstruction thing & she said what you said...brava to both of you!
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