My Chilis

How could I ever stay mad or angry looking at these four eyes? How could any hurt in this world touch me, knowing that these two monkeys are on my side, if there is a side, in this world.
These two are the greatest thing I will EVER do.
They love me with all my flaws and I am humbled everytime I hear-Mommy, I love you
Because honestly, sometimes I think WHY? I am not the baking, crafty, PTA kind of mom. I am the yelling, hurried, frazzled kind of mom. I am the diseased mom. Amputated due to cancer. I am the mom that cries a lot for no apparent reason. I am the mom that drinks wine while cooking dinner because I am relieved that the end of day is nearing.
Yet these two love me. Sometimes they think I am funny. They even tell me I look pretty.
I am incredibly lucky to of birthed these two creatures.

Peace Out

Lost and Found

As usual, I have been thinking and as usual, it will probably get me a)in trouble or b)no where...
I have been thinking about the lost and found.
What I have lost and what I have found.

LOST
money
hats
sanity
friends
humility
innocence
appendages
fingernails
buttons
causes
love
my mind

FOUND
compassion
keys
love
gloves
dust bunnies
my fav hat

I could actually both lists shousl and could be the same. So does that make me lost? Or found? Hell I have no idea...

Peace Out

Done Gone and Did It!!

Yep, yup, yeppers, yes indeed!
I have booked my ticket to Thailand for the early part of 2010. I am still stunned and numb about the actual purchase and confirmation of my flight. That will soon fade into pure excitement.
I cannot describe the thrill of this adventure for me.
I need to wrap my mind around it more, but will keep posting info as it nears!
I am going alone. No set agenda. Lots of reading material. An open mind. An ipod full of music. A passport. A wing and a prayer. I seriously have tears in my eyes thinking about it!

Peace out!
ไม่พบคำ

The CRAP I Have Written on Facebook

www.boobalicious-trixila.blogspot.com all you need to know

I saw this on someone else's facebook-www.freerice.com. Check it out!

Melissa Skankbomb is my stripper name. But I have to say I may change it in the future.

can i get a hoot hoot?

we hooted and hollared ya'll!

is keeping the moves phunky fresh

ok enough already...can you just let it gooooooooooooooooo

jalapeno ranch dip is on my mind

ohhhhhh margarittaville!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

don't cha wish your margarita was cold like mine? dontcha?

Everybody's looking for something Some of them want to use you Some of them want to get used by you Some of them want to abuse you Some of them want to be abused

time wounds all heels

thinks unloading the dishwasher is an a-hole job!

last two weeks before school starts. ready, set ,go!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i feel like i am waiting....

I'll have a cup of tea and tell you of my dreaming, dreaming is free

-hate will eat you alive...mark my words

i have a really big deck, wanna see it?

i think i'm going to paint my ivory tower red

last week till school starts. need to sleep in everyday this week!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

mmmmmm 9:00 and rollin out of bed

four little monkeys in a bed....

awwww you look like you need a hug

is missin my chillis today

just fired up my first "fall" scented candle of the season. a little early but i just couldn't resist!

my chillis come home tomorrow!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

cherry bomb red wallet=♥

first day of second grade!!!! woot woot

everybody needs a new tau tau

mmmmmmm cheese puffs!

NO ONE should wear black socks with shorts!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

thinkin bout zebras

chapstick does a lip good

you've got to change your evil ways...baby

i love diet coke...ok there i said it!

yes, it hurts every damn day

i lurve new shampooooooooop!

what did i do now?!

11 pupies! eleven!!! Xl holy puppy breath!

An even dozen!!!!! 12!!!! Xll

puppy palooooza!!!!!!!!!!!! they are so sinkin' cute!

has clouds in her coffee

says you don't have to live like a refugee

wyatt's first day of ballet!!!!!

i do crossword puzzles in INK...cuz that's how I roll!

i stumble into town, just like a sacred cow...

drinkin coffee, listening to the beattles-let it be- taking a moment before my whackass day starts

why is is stupid hot in september?

and another one's gone and another one's gone, another one bites the dust

Go ahead make my chardonnay

the puppies are opening their eyes!!! hello world!

i've got a black belt in crazy!

Good is good and bad is bad You don't know which one you had

29 fo evvvvvvvvvah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

let your haters be your motivators!

It's hard to see your way out When you live in a house in a house Cause you don't realize That the windows were open the whole time.

i don't care if monday's blue

just ordered a kindle2!!!!!!!!!!!!!! woot woot!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

is riding shotgun down the avalanch.

It's official...... Hellanor On Wheels. Thank you all for your considerate, kind and touching(james) input on my roller girl names. Hellanor On Wheels will reign fo evah!

trixendle's kindle!!!!!!!!!!!!!! has arrived

keepin it high and tight today

i cannot find my favorite hat!!!!!!!!!!!

don't stand so close to me

one won't talk and the other doesn't listen. ugggggggggggggggggggg

i'm feelin like i should say sumpin nice today...it is tequila tuesday after all :)

the evening just went down the drain

great minds drink a like

meet me in istanbul in 24 hours!

why do i feel like i have the job of two wives, yet i am NOT married?

Doesnt mean that much to me To mean that much to you.

push is coming to shove and i'm ready to shove

"That which we manifest is before us; we are the creators of our own destiny. Be it through intention or ignorance, our successes and our failures have been brought on by none other than ourselves" — Garth Stein (The Art of Racing in the Rain)

learn to bend before you break

What a load of crap huh? Yet I keep on crack bookin!

Peace Out

Shockerkahn

If you think you know me the least little bit or a lot, you know why this picture gives me the greatest of joy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Shockerkahn, I'm in lurve wichyou!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Peace Out

More

Sometimes I get so tired,
Just trying to find a place,
To lay my head,
I look up to the sky,
I feel the warmest light comfort me,
I've seen the great heights,
Reminding me... that I'm alive,
I don't wanna die,
I don't wanna waste another day,
Or night,
I know there's something more,
Than what we're living for,
I see it in the stars,
I feel it on the shores,
I know there's something,
I know there's something more.
I think we're all afraid,
That we might be alone,
Alone down here,
We all want to have some faith,
At least that's true in my case,
To just believe,
I've seen the great height,
Reminding me... that I'm alive,
I don't wanna die,
I don't wanna waste another day,
Or night,
I know there's something more,
Than what we're living for,
I see it in the stars,
I feel it on the shore,
I know there's something,
This world may crumble,
Into the ocean,
It could all end tonight,
I undermined you,
Then tried to find you,
My only source of light,
There breathing,
I am alive,
Breathing,
I am,
Alive,
I don't wanna die,
I don't wanna waste another day or night,
I know there's something more,
Than what we're living for,
I see it in the stars,
I feel it on the shore,
I know that I'm alive,
I don't wanna die,
I don't wanna waste another day,
Or night,
I know there's something more,
Than what we're living for,
I see it in the stars,
I feel it on the shore,
I know there's something more.

-tyrone wells

My Little Pumkin

Wyatt and I at the pumpkin patch.
I could nibble on this little honey all day long!
We made it through the impending weather and picked out some awesome pumpkins to bring home. We jumped in a hay maze and rode the train. A perfect fall day with my perfect date.

MUAHHHHHHHHHH!

Happy Anniversary

Today my friend Patty and I took our kiddos on the annual pumpkin patch field trip that we have done every year for the last six years.

We met in the fall of 2003 at a community center play area. You know the kind, where zombie eyed moms go as soon as they can every weekday morning cuz there is no where else to go until nap time. Our oldest girls were playing together and we struck up the boring conversation of, how old is your child? does she sleep through the night? how horrible was your labor? blah blah blah...
We exchanged numbers and went on our merry ways.
Then, she actually called me! We decided to go to a pumpkin patch with one year olds in tow. And so it began...
I do not really like to be around other moms. If you know me, you know how true this is. I don't really talk to folks at pre school or at elementary pick up. Not because I am shy, because I don't want to. Patty covers this territory for me. While in the background I make snarky remarks about the other moms.
So we like to say that we have been dating for six years this month.
Patty knew me post 1st cancer and pre 2nd cancer. We have had laughs and tears. We were pregnant at the same time with our second children. As in any relationship, we have had trying times. Quiet times. Good times. Loud times. Thick and thin. I am talking about our waist lines here.
We love to eat Mexican food and read. She has huge boobs I have none. She's tall, I am short. She's skinny, I am....thick.
We've seen joy and heartache. Terrible terrible heartache.
So Happy Anniversary lady! I gots you on my mind!

Peace Out

Beginners Luck

I never play poker. Honestly I don't even know how. Actually I really don't like card games.
So this weekend when I ended up playing poker and drinking a ton of beer, I won a twenty spot!!!
Seriously, beginners luck. Just like someone who says they have never played golf and wins a tournament. I was blind in one eye and couldn't see out the other with my beer goggles on and here in this picture you see my winnings and all my good luck charms. Yep that's an orange stapler that I became attached to for some reason. It kept me in the game!!!
Let it be said that I do not ever plan on playing again. But I do plan on continuing to drink beer and carry that stapler around in my purse from now on!

Peace Out

Put on Your Ballet Shoes

Sweet Wyatt...
Gonna be a soccerina. That is not a typo...
She can't quite pick between soccer and ballet so this fall she is doing both.
I'm burnin the rubber off my tires lately trying to get everyone where they need to be when they need to be there.
Sometimes I think it would be easier to throw my laundry basket in the back of my car and do my laundry by a stream with a rock while one or both of my children do some kind of activity.
Seriously....



Peace Out

There Was a Time

There was a time I really thought I would see you again. It's just not true and I have to move on.
So I say this will all my heart,
I miss you. I'm sorry. I would change it all in an instant.
I swear I dream about it every week. The outcome always happy and peaceful. That dream will never be a reality.



I dreamed a dream in time gone by
When hope was high
And life worth living
I dreamed that love would never die
I dreamed that God would be forgiving
Then I was young and unafraid
And dreams were made and used and wasted
There was no ransom to be paid
No song unsung, no wine untasted

But the tigers come at night
With their voices soft as thunder
As they tear your hope apart
And they turn your dream to shame

First Day of Second Grade

My sweet pickle Elliot began second grade!!!!!
She's two weeks into it and loves it. Her teacher is FANTASTIC!
Where has the time gone when I could look down and see her nursing while trying to grab at my hair?

Love you rock star!!
Mommy

Cheaper by the Dozen

Our sweet mamma dog had TWELVE puppies yesterday. They are sleeping in a puppy pile this morning, snuggling with their mamma.
I went and got Elliot and her BFF out of school early so they could see the birth. It was really amazing.
So now we have 13 dogs in our house. It's gonna be crazy here for a while. We had no idea she was going have so many!
There is something universal about seeing a live birth. It strips away all the woes of your world when you see life come alive right before you.

Peace Out

Righters Block

I have not really been able to blog lately. It was a hard summer.
I have lost friends through my own doings and through death.
I ask myself this question:
Do I want to be right or do I want to be happy? Damn, that can be hard to answer for me sometimes. Sometimes I want to rage against the machine and prove my point. Sometimes I actually get tired of my crusade and just want peace and happiness. Love, good gawd, we all want love! We all want to be accepted for the choices we make.
I watched a man be buried this week. A bugle played taps. I twice widowed woman cried. A family gathered together in honor. It was haunting.
I asked myself this question:
Do I want to be right or do I want to be happy?
I want to be happy. I want you to be happy.
Life is so short. I can hardly bare the thought of not living the fairy tale.

Peace Out

Happy Birthday Rock Star

My sweet Elliot turned 7 this month. I cannot believe it! I have a 2nd grader!
If you have never met my girl Elliot let me tell you about her...
She is funny and loves to swim. She LOVES pickle flavored potato chips. She's skinny and lanky like I was as a kid. She's loyal and true. She's sweet like candy.
Happy Birthday my sweet girl!

I love you,
Mommy

The loss of Hope

Losing hope is like a death of sorts. Hope can be your best friend, it can be the carrot dangling in front of you that things will get better.
Hope can leave us in an instance. Sometimes by an accident or a poor choice.
When it's gone there can be days, months, years, when you are unsure it will ever return.
Hope is missed on many levels and can be a weight that is so heavy you can barely raise your head.
With no hope, it can be lonely.
Whatever the cause or reason, self inflicted, accidental, or on purpose, just know that hope wants to be in your life. Sometimes it all just feels so.....hopeless

Peace Out

Would You

The sad thing is some days I am all four...

When Blog Worlds Collide

This weekend two of my favorite blogs I read collided. One of the bloggers traveled to the other ones home in another state to hang out for the weekend. I am so envious of this!
If you are an avid blog reader, there are times you feel as though you know someone that you have never met. It sounds a bit stalkerish now that I read that last sentence.
So I keep reading about what the are doing and wondering about how much fun the are having...

Peace Out

New Blog!

I started a new blog!
I am workin out the kinks though...

Check it out
www.grublovin.blogspot.com

Feedback greatly welcome!!!!

Peace Out

Push It

How far would/do you push yourself? To the brink of self ruin. To soaring heights never before reached?
What would you do to attain your goal?
What is your goal?
A clean house?
A marathon?
Perfect children?
Religious piety?
Weight loss?
Good health?
Whatever it is that you covet, what would you do to get it?
I had this friend that would never give up. She never ever ever gave up. Until the very end, she never gave up. She pushed herself, in her weakened state, harder than I have ever seen anyone in my life. She was a giant in heart. Today I think back about her and smile knowing that she was fucking insane, in the best way that one can be out of their mind. Lord love that girl...
So today as I am sick with a pitiful cold, I have yet to sit down. And I think to myself, when is it enough. When do you just say to hell with it all and let peace wash over you. Damn the laundry! Damn the dishes! Damn the homework! Damn it all!
Just be peace.

Every now and then, I get down to the end of a day,
Ill have to stop, ask myself, whatve I done?
It just seems so useless to have to work so hard,
And nothin ever really seem to come from it
- Tom Petty
Damn the Torpedos