Sunday, December 16, 2007

You know that I'm Toxic

I have been thinking a lot about what causes illness and cancer and other sucky things like that. There are tons of theories. There's the environmental theory, the food theory, the lack of vitamin theory, the karma is a bitch theory,the stress theory, and the genetic theory. I could go on and on. But in the end, will we ever know FOR SURE? Why do some folks get it and some don't. Why does it sometimes seem that there might even be some who deserve it more than others. hee hee I know you loved that one!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! We can't exactly cast misfortune on folks but we my know someone we wish might stump their toes or something...
For those of you that are healthy and cancer free, do the rest of us a favor and don't play soothsayer. Don't act like you possibly know what the real cause is, because even our docs don't know. We don't know. I mean, holy cow could it it all the house cleaners I use? The alcohol I drink? The meat I eat? The grudges I hold? Am I a bad person? Am I good person with shitty luck?
Keep your theories to yourself and I will keep my putrid, black, hateful thoughts away from you. Unless of course you dig that kind of stuff. I know some who do...And I love them even more for it.

Peace Out

Sunday, December 09, 2007

Catch My Disease

I thought long and hard last year what I would feel like and look like this year.
I wondered what cancer free would look like. If that's what I truly am...cancer free. Are we ever cancer free? Is it ever off our minds and our hearts? Does a day go by that we don't use the word cancer in a sentence?
No matter how life goes on or how busy we get, do we recover?
Looking in the mirror from the neck down on any given day reminds me. I now call my chest the bone yard. I mean that affectionately of course. Anthony says I should get a set of wings tattooed on my chest, yet have the wings coming off a rib cage. Yea, he thinks he's funny sometimes. I will not mention other funny things he says.
Ugh, sometimes I am sick of me.
Anyhoo, we survived Thanksgiving and we are on the Christmas. The girls are excited and life is busy. How dare I complain huh?
I have been an absent blogger I know. My head is filled with things to write yet my time is never idle these days to sit and type. Maybe after the new year!

Peace Out

My head is a box full of nothing
and that's the way I like it
My garden's a secret compartment
and that's the way I like it
and that's the way I like it
Your body's a dream that turns violent
and that's the way I like it
and that's the way I like it
The winter is long in the city
and that's the way I like it

So please
baby please
Open your heart
Catch my disease

-Ben Lee