Friday, September 28, 2007

Disassembled

A year ago I had a double mastectomy.
At that time I felt as though I was slowly being disassembled. I felt as though I would gladly remove what ever body part(s) I needed to to see my girls grow up.
A lot can happen in a year. Wounds heal. Hearts mend. Despair can be replaced by hope.
I have been through chemo. I have cried many tears. I have gained many pounds. My body at times does not feel like my own. But my life is my own. I live it gladly, lumps, bumps and all.
My children are awesome, My relationship with my partner fulfills me. My family is thriving and I have the best friends a person could want on this earth.
Inshallah. That's what is it.
You can take pieces of me away, but I will come back every, better for it each time.

Peace Out

3day Walk



I have not been able to really blog about this walk. In my own selfish way I have kept it to myself so that I could roll it around in my head for a while. You see, it was amazing. I have not been able to come up with the words to fully explain it all. It's just too much. There are SO many things to say but I can't.
I will just say this, we laughed our asses off. We might of cried a little too. It was simply the best. I can not do it justice by blogging about it.
Just know I loved it. It physically took a lot out of me and my team. I have decided I would do it over and over just to capture that feeling again. It's like a drug.
I love you Lickity Splits!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Peace Out

Tuesday, September 18, 2007

My Personal Pity Party

I have not blogged since before the walk. Since I got home from that I have been having a little pity party for my self. Here is a list of reasons why...in no particular order:

I am tired beyond words.
I have lost a toenail.
I caught my toddler sticking Polly Pocket shoes up her hoo hoo.
I have had a cold.
I found mouse poop in my storage drawers downstairs.
There is orange marker on my walls, carpet, and couch.
My fro is starting to make me look like Elvis (the fat Elvis).
My other half wants me to go through stuff to make a dump pile. Sure, right after I cook dinner dear.
My calendar is booked EVERYDAY this week. That alone makes me pissy.
I have not had the time or energy to blog or read blogs.
I have Vitamin H on Friday, which may be a needed break, although it means going to the hospital.

Oh I could go on and on. I want to blog about the walk and all the hilarious stuff that happened but I have yet to get there.

Pity....party of one, your table is ready...

Peace Out

Thursday, September 13, 2007

Too Tired To Blog

This week has kicked my rear.
Hope to blog next week.

Peace Out

Tuesday, September 04, 2007

Madness doesn't always howl. Sometimes it's the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, "Hey, is there room in your head for one more?"

Saturday, September 01, 2007

Do I Know You?

I had an interesting thought today. We were out and about with the girls and our dog. I saw this woman that had very short hair, like it was growing out from being shaved. I could not take my eyes off of her. As she turned around I noticed a huge scar from her ear to the back of her head. I stood there thinking, hmmmm I wonder what that's all about.
That incident led to this blog. I got to thinking, do the suffering have a sense for each other? Do people who go through some kind of trauma seek each other out in crowds? Do we pass others and look for the sign? The slight smile when seeing a bald head, or flat chest, or pink wrist band. Words are rarely spoken. Do we seek out those who have same life experiences as ourselves? As my friend Jason said, if you drove a certain car, say a jeep(I used to have one) wouldn't you notice other jeeps all the time? My answer was YES!!!! That's what I'm talking about!
Here's a little story that proves my point: How I got discovered in Target.
When I first started chemo I was in Target one day giving my girls the best nutrition Target has to offer...hotdogs. As I was sitting there trying to keep the mustard volcano from taking us over, I noticed a woman standing at the counter. She has really cute SHORT hair and a pink wrist band. I was almost completely bald and wearing a hat. We were checking each other out. We had "the look." We had no choice but to start talking. She had just finished chemo and asked me if I was going to any support groups. I said I wasn't and she invited me to hers. We traded emails and I am proud to say that she, Carol, is my friend and my hero. If it weren't for her, I would have never joined cancer club. I wouldn't be doing the 3day walk, I would not have some of the most amzing women in my life.
So see? maybe we do seek each other out. Maybe we feel we are different from the population and we need to find others who know our plight.
If you see me round town come up and say hi, unless I find you first.

Peace Out